Wanted to give a huge shout out and special this really stupid fast bad ass girl amanda coley... made my wife’s day .. and also mine never will forget u. Much love
— Perry C

Look for us on TV but don't tell your friends!

Dude(s)....who produced that commercial - a mentally challenged 9 yr old? It is terrible! Ya gotta spend a little money on shit like that if you want to succeed....seriously..
— Dan M

About that ad...

I'm pretty sure that must have been on TV since are new ad wasn't allowed to run on the JumboTron at the tracks. Something about "there will be children" and "are those even real??".

So they pulled our original ad. We tried to get Ridley Scott at the last minute but he had to do some press junkets for his new movie Alien: Covenant. What a sell-out.

We managed to find a rather advanced toddler who was proficient in PowerPoint to do some last minute edits and re-shoots. Please note all future commercials will fully abide by child labor laws and will be censored where applicable for TV and LIVE audiences.

Basic summary:

Our actual ad was not allowed to run since it violated multiple guidelines. I think you'd have approved.



April Showers Brings May Scowlers

your website is stupid
i would buy a hoodie but the website is a dead end
— Mark B

Dammit, Mark B, you sly fox, you're right. We are rebuilding the website literally just for you. This was an expensive overhaul and we will give you a stupid discount to show how f@#%ing appreciative we are of your bulls@#% review.

PS: Thanks and we will try to hit the virtual road within a week and really hope to blow you-away. We will have one of our highly trained monkeys contact you and send you a nice 'thank you' gift.